Back & Forth

To and fro....
Insane passion to intense anger
Getting better and worse every time.
Yo-yoing each other's frayed heartstrings and whirling words without thought....
Good and terrible at different times and at once.
Healing and hurting....feeding and starving....
I love you and I hate you....I don't want to be without you; I want you in my life forever....
You sometimes give me hope....you hurl me into despair.
You're so much a part of my being; I can't get away from you....you're everywhere. You love me....you can't stand me.
You raise me up and you throw me down. You say such beautiful things, then you poison my heart....
While my soul screams for freedom, yet not wanting us to part.
Energizing....yet sometimes sapping the will to live....
Love....hate....apathy....and longing to forgive.
Forgiving and then throwing shit in each other's faces
A feigned sense of righteousness....until we put ourselves in each other's places. Love so good, yet sometimes fractious and bad....
The best and the worst experience I've ever had?
Trusting you cautiously....
Love so unbridled yet laiden with conditions....
Grateful for what seems like a new start with you....
Then drowning in regret and contrition. Held so close, I'm almost inside you.... Then pushed so far away that I can't find you.
Reconnecting....stronger each time.... Then disconnecting and punishing for each new crime.
Loving and gripping so tightly, we draw blood....
Then despising and drawing forth bitter tears....and drowning in the immense flood.
Then gripped with longing when we are apart....
Our minds, tormented, with these matters of the heart.
Uncertain about each other.....yet somehow sure
That what we have is a deep and true love, and that we can endure.