While pressed against me and moist with sweat, I owned him so completely, that he will never forget I pinned him down lovingly and climbed up on top, Grinding insanely, while he begged me not to stop. But wicked, wicked me, that's exactly what I did next.... I stopped and dismounted him and smiled as he flexed.... I ran my nails up his trembling thighs And worshiped his body to the music of his sighs. I then raised my head from it's bowed position Then slid him back inside me to continue the mission The intoxicating aroma from the mingling of our scents Encircled us with the heat of our love so immense Then with rapturous song, the sweet nectar of our wellsprings came His body and mine felt like one and the same.  With the final seizures of pleasure we devoured each other's lips And traced each other's faces with wet fingertips.

I'm Getting Old And I Need Something To Rely On

Forget everything and have a life together.... Or just free each other's spirits into the universe?.... I've already let go. Insanity isn't my style; it doesn't match my shoes. http://vimeo.com/m/69890057

Untitled Love Poem

O rhythmic prince.... Come to me in the night.... Halt the turning of the earth At the point just between dawn and daylight~ *Rouse me gently from my dreams of you.... Be there when I wake.... Be my living, breathing fantasy.... Be my eternal everything, for true love's sake~ *How I love you, glorious prince.... I am hypnotized by your steady thrust.... How I wish you would serenade me forever Instead of leaving me when you must~ *To you, my heart sings.... When you enter my body and mind.... Sacred hymns of praise and joy As beneath me, you squirm and grind~ *And at the height of our esctacy, New stars are born.... With the ferocity of supernovae The veil between fantasy and reality is torn~ *Yet my love for you stands firm Although presently, we cannot be one.... I will hold dear the final hint of you With the rising of the sun~ *The still of night is for dreams While reality rules the day.... As long as the sun or the moonlight touch you, I will never be far away~ *I will meet you in your sweetest dreams Where our hopes and dreams rule the night And there I will make endless love to you As we linger 'til the next day's light~

My Fire (Written By Him)

She woke up one day and realized… She had to move on A future with a claimed man Would never be a reality She had an epiphany There were hundreds of eligible Baggage free Single or separated - great men all around her Men that would treat this princess that way she deserved Support her and her kids through Anything and everything Make her breakfast on Sunday mornings Massage her tired muscles every night Read bedtime stories to her sons The claimed man cried as he wrote his poem But he knew the stars once aligned between a fiery black widow and the glowing energy of that rhythmic prince Their hearts forever melted as one

Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part Two

Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part Two

Transit

A year since the transit of Venus.... Across the face of our sun she moved giving joy to open hearts, and surprising our spirits with new song. ....Gathered there, a throng of her admirers ....there to see her silhouette.... There to be a part of *something*.... ....On that fateful day these two lovers met.... She....a woman of poor social standing, found such joy amid the jubilation.... He, a man of imprisoned hopes, drawn toward the woman's intense vibration. So natural was he, that she failed to see what energy flowed all around him.... ....distracted by life here in the middle of a spiritual awakening..... From a cloud of infinity he appeared.... a kind heart so pure as to win the trust of the restless babe within her arms.... Glad for his company, and glowing from an inner joy which seeped through her pores, she welcomed this new friend into her space....barely noticing the beauty in his face. A few days after the day they first met, They fell into each other....dripping with lust.... In his soul he waged within himself a war of morality....Armageddon.... Doused with passion....life anew.... She wore him like skin....within and without. Saturated with and overpowered by the possibility of meeting a need....satisfying a want.... He ravaged and consumed her soul to her delight. Armageddon within....Heaven and hell without.... As finer details of her lover came to light.... She seethed with rage....longing....bitterness....selfish desire.... While Venus in all her glory boiled hellishly far away. Upon the face of fair Venus was born a connection between two desperate lovers.... And upon her molten face boils the truth of their unholy desire. They made love with all the rage of Venusian summer.... No relief was to be found from their insane desire. Impure....dirty....at once addictive.... Insatiable and fervent....blistering and forming callous over callous....growing thicker over the very conscience that they had come to adore in each other..... ....Oh, the irony of forbidden love.... The delectable sweetness of orgasmic pleasure....how it could equal the ruin of one, or of both he and of her.... The anguish of suffering such turmoil in secret.... While each wonders if the other finds satisfaction in another while they *must* be apart.... Yet holding onto the sacred nature of their meeting, under the glorious transit of Venus across the mighty and glorious sun..... Unbearable heat....which seems so welcoming after the long winter of lonliness.... The thawing of souls.... The delicate task of finding perfect balance.... The weighing of risks....of pros and of cons.... To feast daily on the unabashed divinity of love....or to partake in secret....sporadically....and to never be satisfied.... The thawing and the freezing again of their love preserving and yet rotting them at the same time....only with each freezing, the preserving of more rottenness.... But with each sexual union....the purging fires of Venus and the sun exposes and then purifies both of their sins.... A year since fair Venus' transit of the sun.... A year since the wondrous yet unfinished story of these two lovers had begun.... <3 Bittersweet anniversary, Fire of my Soul.

Absorb

This convergence of despair with hope has given me insight.... I Knowledge uncovered....revealed to my eyes which refused to see.... The truth revealed itself to my soul....my heart braced for the change that now must be. I can only exhude that which I am....with which I am filled.... We only exhude that which we are....that with which we are filled.... The hollow of my heart into which your spirit nestled, is once again vacant....yet still resonates your energy and light. The aroma of our succulent love wafts in like a phantom in the night.... My eyes roll up ....hide behind a blanket of lashes and tears.... I exhale the sourness of the memory of you....inhale peace and repeat.....

Something My Love Sent Me

Smile

Thankyou for your smiles and hugs today.

Lust

Thirst.

Liquify me with your touch....rid my mind of surrounding troubles.... Hypnotize me with the flickering glint in your eyes.... Lower me gently....I will lay, shielded from the sun beneath the shadow of your wondrous frame.... Take me in broad daylight on a bed of cool grasss.... Show me your strength....own me....

Arrrrgh!

This be my pirate name >:p

My pirate name is Clara "Coconut Crazy" Haul
"The Cruel Hook of Cannibal River!"
This pirate be knowing what they want and taking no prisoners!
Get your own pirate name from the pirate name generator!

Hmph.

A plague of merciless feelings and an assault of random thoughts.... A tempermental heart in need of control.... A body with urges so fierce, missing the warmth of your soul's fire. I lasso my mind and try to reign it in, but it pulls me away to thoughts of you. I fight varying aspects of myself, unable to maintain the grip on reality that I have learned and accepted. I watch myself with shame burn for you in desire's merciless flame.

A Post.

No Title

4, 5 & 9

I don't always openly communicate, I don't have much to offer/bring to the table I'm nuts because that friggen mad babydad solidified the inability to trust that I grew up with. Interesting. I'm always open to opportunities to learn something new....whether it be scientific or merely the spewings of a butthurt basement dweller. http://www.thesocialpulse.com/blog/top-9-reasons-girls-fk-up-relationships

OmigodsandgoddessesIthinkIhatemen....

@_@ I can't stand anyone after more than 2 1/2 weeks. I will now comb the internet to see if there has ever been any scientific research to back this up. I will also place an order for some remedy for the immense butthurt I am suffering from. There must be a support group out there for people who, like me, are too fucking injured from being tossed around in the game of love. Who knew it could get so dangerous! *^_^ To the WorldWideWeb!....

I'm Not That Kinda Girl....

I am a one person person; don't go for any of that "sharing" stuff....I'd be a jealous cow if I were in an "open" relationshit. Nope....I like my relationshits nice and *closed*....just me and my plaything. I know how it hurts to think of a partner slobbering all over someone else....I also know how much it really sucks to be a fantasy to someone who eventually goes home to their legitimate partner. Fair enough. For now, this chica's free as a bird; no one has laid claim to my booty (lol, sigh....I think I enjoyed that one a bit too much; I acutally "lol"ed out loud....*^_^)....anyboobs, I don't like it when the woman in the mirror refuses to look me in the eye because I'm in a stupid "love"(?) triangle....there's no role in such a drama that I would be happy in. Also, while I'm at it....cleaning out my closet and airing my linens.... I vehemently detest the idea of feeling as though I'm on anyone's back burner. I deserve to be happy alone, happy dating whomever I choose, happy keeping any current love-interests to myself without being periodically prodded by former lovers for any information on who else finds me interesting....(?)....couldn't think of a better word.... Whatever....this is my blog, and I just need to vent a bit today.... ....and no, D, this is not just about you. K, back to my life and my quest for happiness *<3*

Schmalentine's Day Poem :-P

Waxing crescent moon on mild ash Wednesday.... Stars are twinkling with fervor through the evening haze.... The planet Jupiter mightily owns my attention.... I'm losing myself in the beauty of it. I can't hear or see anything else around me.... You could have been standing there and I wouldn't have known.... I used to love you as much as the stars and the planets.... Now I'm mourning the loss of the love we had. I'm polluted inside and I wish I could sparkle.... Only resonating the light of pure love.... But there's so much anger and hurt inside me.... I sometimes wish the Universe would swallow me up. I ruin the beauty of the night with a cigarette.... I don't care that I don't have a Valentine.... I'd be lying if I said I wanted to see you.... It hurts to have to get over you every time. I thought about flying into the arms of another.... But after you, I have trouble trusting myself.... I'm afraid my heart will be crushed beyond recognition.... I've been through too much shit and it's mangled enough. I'm not blaming you....or beatinng myself up.... I'm just bathing in a sea of regret.... Life has dealt me a hand that I don't want to play with.... So I look to the stars for the strength to move on. Instead of wallowing in the mire of self-pity.... The optimist in me wants to find the beauty in life.... Heal my heart and repair the damage inside me.... Find a beacon of hope for someone else.....maybe. I've always thought that as long as there's life, there is always hope....I still believe.... I'm desperately looking for possibilities.... As the steadfast constellations shine brightly.... There's a part of me that's determined not to give up on me. It burns through despair and inspires courage.... It catches me when I've fallen down.... It pulls me back from the edge of total destruction.... In the still of the night, it's there when everyone's gone. The Heavens stoke the flames of my inner fire.... And from the ashes, my Spirit, like a phoenix soars.... High above all the doubt and fear that impedes me.... Gaining strength with every metre as I journey on. Everything I lost or gave away.... Everything that was taken without my permission.... Everything I wish I could find again.... Motivates me to move on. Everyone that might gain from my suffering.... Everyone who needs a beaconof hope.... Everyone who has been abaondoned.... I remember as I struggle on. The children around who look up to me.... And the inspiration of all of life's beauty.... The courage I absorb from the Universe.... Fuels my Spirit to move on.

My Love For You

I sent my love for you out into the night, whispering your name.... gazing at bright Jupiter as he ruled the sky....and from my core, it spiralled up towards forever....where the stars dance and the Universe captures souls.... My love for you became part of everything.... air, light and sound.... I sent it with a prayer that it would find you and surround you and fill you as you breathe. ....inhale deeply and hold me inside....know me as your chest rises and falls with each breath you take.... Return your love for me on a current of air....send it on a beam of light....whisper my name, sweet and low, and I will know you tonight, when your spirit fills me with your warmth and light.... My heart beats your name....each syllable deliberate and without pause. As the blood in our veins charges with Jupiter's might, and fuels an exchange of our love in the night, remember that distance and silence is nothing to fear.... My love for you floats on waves of sound, dances with the stars and is the anthem of the birds as they herald the dawn. Each flake of snow, every gust of wind that licks your face....the unfathomable expanse of our Universe.... Know my love by these things tonight and every night, until our souls are taken into the depths of the Great Universe....immeasurable and boundless as is my love for you.

From Feb 4

He wants to see me to say goodbye .... Then we'd see the pain in eachother's eyes and be filled with regret and longing etc., and we'd be right back to dealing with each other as undercover lovers. I hate this. I wish I could talk to my father about this.... Perhaps in an alternate universe, I have a father who is part Mufasa, part Professor Xavier and part Optimus Prime, and he would say: "You are worth so much more than this", and he would hold me and comfort me if I need to cry, or we could assemble some furniture together or paint a wall....

Not Beating Him Up

I can't stand the lack of contact and the unfairness of the arbitrary rules that go along with being whatever I am to him, so why put myself through that? I can't. Not any longer.... It sucked enough when calling/texting his phone was forbidden....then our "visits" became fewer and further between. What kind of relationship is it when someone flip-flops from one person to the next and relies on the co-operation of the illigitimate one not to blow the whole operation by overstepping boundaries that have been carefully constructed to preserve the status quo? I didn't sign up for that....I thought I had a shot with this gem of a man. I placed my bet on the fantasy of him being free and having him as a legitimate person in my life when he assured me on several occasions that he and his wife were "in the process of separating". This is exactly why I adopted the policy of only agreeing to date someone who had been at least a year out of their last significant relationship; overlooking that condition when the truth came out about the struggle he was having with being undecided about when and/or if he ought to leave his wife was my error. I shouldn't have compromised on that, but I did, and I have to accept responsibility for my part in the outcome. The reality of the situation is that this guy and I have a relationship that was based on a "white lie" (that he was single, and didn't live with his children's mother), and more lies and deception were piled on top of that in an attempt to sustain what he and I had....because we felt such passion for each other. Evidently, hot sex and a cosmically spiritual alignment do not a relationship make; the real stuff of life is what he had right at home. His gorgeous children and beautiful wife, a nice house, an extended family with whom he seems to get along.... I have nothing to offer him that could even come close to that. Obviously, the excitement of being adored by someone who didn't have to go home with him and with whom he shared none of life's real responsibilities must have been liberating for a man who felt trapped in a relationship with a woman who has known him long enough and knows him well enough to not be giddy with passion for him any more. Whatever their problems were and/or are, forging a relationship with someone else only adds to the negativity in a relationship that is already under threat of coming to an end. I wish that we could have just been friends instead, because that's what someone needs when they are in a relationship limbo with their spouse, not a fuckbuddy. It is unfortunately too late and I am emotionally too far in to be able to offer him that at this point. His wife has already marked me as a threat to her relationship with her husband, and rightly so. If he had dealt honestly with me, and the natural course of things had led he and his wife to separate, that would be different.... So much hurt has come from the selfishness of this affair/tryst/dance with the devil.... It will take some time before the injured parties can heal and move on. No one deserves to be cheated on, no one deserves to be led into believing that a potential love interest is single when in fact they are not, and no one should feel trapped in a relationship that requires a lifetime of communication. I do not hate Mr. Married Guy....he longs for intimacy the way any other human does. He just needs to be brave and honest about how he goes about getting that. If I compromise my own integrity, I am not worthy of the love I seek. I can only be responsible for myself and my choices from this point on regarding this situation. If he wants to be truly loved, he needs to prove himself worthy of that love by living by the courage of his convictions. How else can anyone trust him enough to love him, and love him enough to give him their trust?

So today's affirmation from the calendar is: "Determine to make the best of bad situations, and you will make your world a happier place. You will also attract more friends, because people are attracted to positive people." And *that* is *exactly* why I loved him.

Why Does A Broken Heart Beat With Such Furor?

I didn't just run a marathon. Shut.up.and.let.me.sleeeeeep! @_@ He's toasty warm beside his lady love, as he should be....hopefully order and unity will be restored in their household. They've worked damned hard to get where they are and I honestly wish them the best. If a family can stick together, they should. Friggen morals and principals. :/ Goodbye to the uncertainty that had become the theme of our dealings with each other, and to the sound of shameless "ugly-crying", the soundtrack to our whirlwind love. Goodbye to the wild pain....always with random thoughts at the ready; ammunition with which to strike while I lay unprotected by activity in the night. Goodbye to the inebriating fragrance of his hair, his chest, his neck....the scent of which set into motion undulating tremors within me. Goodbye to the many flavours of his skin....every inch of him a succulent delicacy. I will treasure the memory of his warm, soothing voice....like a precious, down-filled quilt, he wrapped it around me many times, freeing his soul to dance with mine, even if just for a moment. My love for him still smoulders....the embers of our last words to each other kept warm under the ashes of cremated dreams. Upon this pyre, I lay every false hope. The fool I have been surrenders her desires in exchange for certainty.... The sharp sting of Reality's reprimand keeps my curious heart in check. No longer the adventurous gambler with many chips to gamble with in the game of love, experience begs of me, "cling tighter to those remaining chips!".... Now a shadow of my younger, luckier, more resilient self, I do as I am bid as my wounded confidence slinks in retreat. In this cave of mourning, I will ache and cry for the loss of my lover....but in good time, I will emerge, ready once more to taste the love of another. http://formybeautifullove.blogspot.ca/2011/10/vanessa-carlton-1000-miles.html?m=1

A Good Long Read....

http://gallery.yourtango.com/gallery/The_50_Most_Influential_People_In_Love

Take A Chance

<3

Energy

When we rode home on the subway together on Friday....my heart rate was out of control. I was breathless just sitting near you; then when you said I could grab your hair...."grab all you want...." and then slowly tilted your head back and relaxed into my grip....I wanted to mount you.... I orgasmed when you whispered against my neck what you wanted to do to me....your voice....I couldn't stand it.... Then you applied that lip balm....so tempting....your rose petal lips....so soft....so pink .... I wanted to kiss you so fully....so deeply....with *everything* in me.... I wish I had pushed the emergency stop bar ....just to be with you for a few moments longer....to inhale you a few more times.... Rediculous thoughts, I know. I just love the warm intoxication of having you near....

Fun With Facebook Troublemakers!

Always good for a laugh*^_^ http://fb-troublemakers.com/fun-with-statues-3340/

Sweet Words

My sentiments exactly, my darling....

Dull Tool

http://musique.premiere.fr/News-Musique/Fiona-Apple-le-titre-Dull-Tool-extrait-de-la-BO-du-film-40-ans-mode-d-emploi-3571310