From Feb 4

He wants to see me to say goodbye .... Then we'd see the pain in eachother's eyes and be filled with regret and longing etc., and we'd be right back to dealing with each other as undercover lovers. I hate this. I wish I could talk to my father about this.... Perhaps in an alternate universe, I have a father who is part Mufasa, part Professor Xavier and part Optimus Prime, and he would say: "You are worth so much more than this", and he would hold me and comfort me if I need to cry, or we could assemble some furniture together or paint a wall....