Schmalentine's Day Poem :-P

Waxing crescent moon on mild ash Wednesday.... Stars are twinkling with fervor through the evening haze.... The planet Jupiter mightily owns my attention.... I'm losing myself in the beauty of it. I can't hear or see anything else around me.... You could have been standing there and I wouldn't have known.... I used to love you as much as the stars and the planets.... Now I'm mourning the loss of the love we had. I'm polluted inside and I wish I could sparkle.... Only resonating the light of pure love.... But there's so much anger and hurt inside me.... I sometimes wish the Universe would swallow me up. I ruin the beauty of the night with a cigarette.... I don't care that I don't have a Valentine.... I'd be lying if I said I wanted to see you.... It hurts to have to get over you every time. I thought about flying into the arms of another.... But after you, I have trouble trusting myself.... I'm afraid my heart will be crushed beyond recognition.... I've been through too much shit and it's mangled enough. I'm not blaming you....or beatinng myself up.... I'm just bathing in a sea of regret.... Life has dealt me a hand that I don't want to play with.... So I look to the stars for the strength to move on. Instead of wallowing in the mire of self-pity.... The optimist in me wants to find the beauty in life.... Heal my heart and repair the damage inside me.... Find a beacon of hope for someone else.....maybe. I've always thought that as long as there's life, there is always hope....I still believe.... I'm desperately looking for possibilities.... As the steadfast constellations shine brightly.... There's a part of me that's determined not to give up on me. It burns through despair and inspires courage.... It catches me when I've fallen down.... It pulls me back from the edge of total destruction.... In the still of the night, it's there when everyone's gone. The Heavens stoke the flames of my inner fire.... And from the ashes, my Spirit, like a phoenix soars.... High above all the doubt and fear that impedes me.... Gaining strength with every metre as I journey on. Everything I lost or gave away.... Everything that was taken without my permission.... Everything I wish I could find again.... Motivates me to move on. Everyone that might gain from my suffering.... Everyone who needs a beaconof hope.... Everyone who has been abaondoned.... I remember as I struggle on. The children around who look up to me.... And the inspiration of all of life's beauty.... The courage I absorb from the Universe.... Fuels my Spirit to move on.