What Have I Done?!!!!

I think my lover hates me.... Dear Blog, what the fuck, huh? I'm not even as angry with him as I am with myself. What made me think that a tryst with a married guy who "doesn't know where he's gonna be six months from now" would not end with one of us in tears? My inner beast is wildly waving the bullshit flag; how could I have been so incredibly blind and trusted him?