I spent 16 years with a guy who treated me like shit and who *continues* to treat me like shit. There must be something wrong with me for him to treat me so terribly, to the point where he is so incredibly obsessed with continuing the torture and hurting our daughter and not giving a shit whether or not our young boys are in the line of fire. So to be told that I am "beautiful" hurts. I simply think that there is something wrong with you, that you don't see in me whatever my parents and my children's father thought was worthy of squashing. The fear of loving completely claws at my flesh and warns me not to believe anything that anyone says....just accept any complements given with gracefulness and a smile and continue with my lone journey in life; I am all I have. I like to love and I like to give, but I dare not accept either from anyone.