..........

I feel as though no one wants to be around me if I'm not inebriated. I didn't realize how difficult this would be. I want to drink again so I don't feel so bad. And everyone I loved when I had a steady flow of liquor in my blood....maybe I didn't really love them (?)....I know for sure that they couldn't have loved, or even *known* me. If they met me for the first time today, I don't know what they'd think. Pretty much everyone I know drinks..but I NEED to. I have to so I can function. I'm not in my right mind right now. But I have to smarten up. This has gone on long enough.