Metal crushed by metal Rock wrecked by rock .... Such is the ache inside of me as he regales me with tales of his real life.... I cling to whatever he gives me, as though the fate of the universe depends on the strength of my grip....I dare not let it slip.... With barely enough of anything to justify calling it love....I did.... although I know that I'm not a part of his real life. I envy his wife. Claims of a loveless life at home no longer make an impression.... How can I justify another love session?....whether his heart is with her or not, his body and mind share her space.... Each day *she* beholds my lover's face. Scooped out of my chest is the pulp of my heart....there was never any real hope for my lover and I.... this *he* knew from the start. How silly of me....supposing that we could be! So perfect for me in so many ways....yet he *can't* be anything more.... I adore him....the pain of not being with him gnaws at my bones. Every word he says stabs at my chest. He sees me as beautiful....all I see is a mess.