Holidays have come and gone....people have been born and have died....I mark the passing of time without a significant other....admired by many; living life as a sexy single mother. One day, leathered skin and hair of grey and white....they will replace my smooth chocolate skin and desire to satisfy anyone's sexual appetite. Then I will feast upon memories and make myself sick from "should have been's" and "used to be's". I am determined to dance upon that which I purge from my soul....so putrid and toxic....infernal anger and too-bitter regret.... I long for that day....but I am not there yet. I am still unwise in so many ways....making poor choices and wasting precious days. Observing the inhabitants of a world in which I don't fit....and wondering and wandering and falling into pit after cleverly hidden pit. With every fall and struggle to climb, I lose feathers from my wings and they bend and break.

Play

Reply To His Poem From The Last Time We Saw Each Other

I want to call you.... I want to text you.... I want to meet you.... I want to eat you.... I want to grab you.... I want to have my way with you.... I want to scratch you..... I want to smash you.... I want to hide you.... ....while I ride you.... I want to keep you.... I want to sleep with you.... I want to drown in you.... I want to go down on you.... I need to have you.... I need to love you.... I need to own you.... Please let me call you....

From Him To Me....

I watched her dance for a while Watched her move She smiled at her neighbour, she raised her arm as she sang Feeling the words feeling the music She noticed me and backed herself into me The electricity could have lit a stove It did in my belly and my groin and my heart I brushed against her shoulder Her skin- softer than any baby’s I longed to touch it again To smell it to kiss it to eat it to devour it I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her close we moved together When she couldn’t take it anymore she took me by the hand to a quiet place We embraced and kissed deeply – our hearts melting into one – like so many times before Wandering hands and lips and tongues – then STOP! Before we fall to the ground…. We part with a smile and a heavy heart….we wish it could last. I race home I run upstairs to the shower and under warm rain we make passionate love in my mind under a waterfall and we explode! Fall asleep in each other’s arms…..

Sometimes I feel as though I shouldn't live anymore.... When I find myself lost in that dark place, I try to find people to be surrounded by until the seduction of death loses it's grip on my body. I just run....I don't always know where I'll end up....I just run. Just run until I find people with love to spare, who can respawn my spirit.... It's a gamble each time, because what if instead of finding hope, I find more pain?.... Up until *this* point, I have been lucky.

Purge Time! Gotta Make Space And Get Rid Of Everything You Shit On....

Had I known that you merely wanted someone to fuck as casually as one would smoke a cigarette, I would have steered clear away.

Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling who nobody wanted.... She grew into a swan, admired by many and wanting only one.... No amount of preening and flapping garnered his attention; Yet she circled wherever she thought he might be, ears peeled for any mention Of interest....of desire....of even the slightest consideration.... The swan was ready to dive toward the one she loved without any hesitation.